5-step guide to preparing for the apocalypse

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It is Thursday as I write this and as far as I can tell, World War III has not yet broken out. That’s a relief. Granted, these days “as far as I can tell” is not very far at all. For instance, despite my best efforts, I still have only a muddled grasp of what is going on in Iran. I know it looks like a war, but the man who started it insists it is a “short-term excursion” and not a war, except when he forgets and accidentally calls it a “very complete” war that he has totally won…